"I Don't Know." Is NOT an Excuse

Businesses, communities, marriages, careers, lives are suffering, deteriorating or being destroyed everyday in so many ways. And, although there are numerous causes of this suffering, deterioration and destruction, I am consistently receiving this response as one major contributors - "I don't know."

We define ourselves by our thoughts, words and actions. What are we conveying to others when we say we don't know?

We need to question and ask why we are saying "I don't know my responsibilities in my career, my community or family." If we agree to a role or a job, we need to be crystal clear about what we have agreed to or signed up for. If we are the CEO, president, owner, employee, spouse, parent or volunteer, it is imperative for us to have the expectations clearly laid out before we agree to the position.

Recently, I caught a segment of a reality television show - I honestly can't tell you the name - but the show was about an expectant mother who was seeking help from an expert about becoming a new parent. The good news was she was asking for help in advance - She was scheduled to deliver the following Monday and her meeting with this expert was taking place on the preceding Friday, not quite 3 full days before she would bring into the world a brand new baby. To follow is the bad news...

The expert started with a basic intake assessment to determine how much help and information this new mother-to-be needed. The nine month pregnant woman was not able to answer one question correctly, nor could she demonstrate on a doll how she could care for a totally dependent infant. When the expert asked her to show changing a baby's diaper, she asked, "I have to do THAT?"

The expert decided to take a different approach and here is how the interview continued.

Expert, "Will you have help?"

Mother-to-be response, "Oh, yes we have hired a nanny."

Expert, "Is she going to live in?"

Mother-to-be response, "On, no, she's only here during the day or when we are away."

The expert turned to the audience and mouthed, "She doesn't have a clue."

The sad part of this entire scenario for me is that this response is so, so typical. People jump into situations and don't have any ideas of their responsibilities or roles and that is just a disaster waiting to happen. We have to stop using "I don't know" as an answer and start coming in prepared with research, education, questions and an interest in learning more.

Let's start taking ownership instead of looking for the easy way out or believe me, we will be learning some really hard lessons.

Four Pillars of Accountablity

Accountability is an interesting word. A simple definition is the ability to account for one's actions. With some further research I found these five synonyms consistently showing up: responsibility, answerability, trustworthiness, liability.


Responsibility - "a duty that binds to the course of action." Simply stated, we are responsible to demonstrate responsibility by being proactive and fully understanding our purpose, our vision, our mission, our values, our role, our values. To be responsible, we will have done our homework before we dive into relationships, jobs, endeavors and ask what is expected of us when we are not clear.

Answerability - "being called to account." This follows responsibility in that when ask what we are providing or delivering is of the best quality, the best price and the absolute best value. To be answerable, when questioned, that how we are behaving personally and professionally supports what we are telling others we do or charging for in terms of products or services.

Trustworthiness - "a trait of being worthy of trust and confidence." Trust is something that is earned. Our behaviors can build or destroy trust. Honesty and integrity are the linchpins that hold relationships, companies and communities together.

Liability - "being legally bound to a debt or obligation." This is the price we must pay for violating our honor and our word. Repaying a debt with dollars is often a small price to pay, if we can maintain our character and sense of self.

These four pillars create a strong platform for work and life. What pillars would you add to create a firm foundation for accountability?

10-10-10 at 10:10AM

On 10-10-10 at 10:10AM a minister shared this story with his congregation He and his wife were having dinner in a local restaurant. They were just getting ready to place their order and the minister's wife started to cry. Surprised, he asked his wife what was the matter. She told him that there was a couple at the table next to them who just had potatoes on their plates. Their waitress came to take the order and the minister asked, "Why is that couple only eating potatoes?"

The waitress replied, "That's all they could afford."

The minister and his wife were overwhelmed with empathy and quickly said, "Please tell the couple to enjoy the buffet. We'll take care of the bill."

Before the other couple left, they approached and with tears in their eyes the minister and his wife and thank them for their generosity.

Before the minister related this story, he had passed out sealed white envelops and asked the congregation not to open until he asked them to. At 10:10AM on October (10), 10th, 2010, he asked everyone to open their envelops. Inside was $50.00. His request, over the next few weeks, pay attention to someone who appeared to be in real need and give them the $50.00.

What came to mind when I heard this story was the phrase - "He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother."

A little history...

In a 1918 publication entitled "The Higher Powers of Mind and Spirit" by Ralph Waldo Trine, he related the following anecdote, "Do you know that incident in connection with the little Scottish girl? She was trudging along, carrying as best she could a boy younger, but it seemed almost as big as she herself, when one remarked to her how heavy he must be for her to carry, when instantly came the reply: 'He's na heavy. He's mi brither."

In September 1924, Roe Fulkerson, the first editor of Kiwanis Magazine published a column carrying the title "He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother."

Christmas 1941, Father Edward J. Flanagan came across a line drawing of a young boy carrying his brother - the caption read . "He ain't heavy Mister — he's m' brother!" The drawing had been created by Mr. Van B. Hooper who later became the editor of Ideals magazine. This phrase later became the motto for Boys Town.

In 1969 at the height of the Vietnam war, the Hollies released a ballad entitled "He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother."

Even though times are tough, the minister and his wife are willing to help others. Whether we are at home, at work or in the community, this minister taught a valuable lesson "People aren't heavy, their our family."

So now it's up to us.

Strategies for Building Personal Power - Find Joy - A Great Responsibility!

We are in the midst of tremendous economic, political, environmental, health and day-today life changes. Companies change direction which cause jobs and lives to change drastically. Every day there are new regulations, laws and standards being introduced. Yes it is hot, we are in the midst of the lazy, hazy days of summer. Finding time to eat properly and exercise seems almost a monumental task. And last, but not least, our everyday responsibilities include home caring, work caring, relationship caring and even community caring.

All of these responsibilities leave very little time for finding and sharing our own joy and peace of mind. How does one become more responsible for finding Joy when life is so overwhelming?

Some tips I am learning from a very wise and wonderful person.

Find what makes you want to create.

Find what makes you smile and laugh out loud.

Find what makes you want to sing.

Find what makes you want to share.

Find down time to enjoy nature or a great book.

Find moments of time when you can capture the pure joy of YOU!

That's how I intend to spend today - Finding Joy!

All the best in health and wealth,

Laura

Promote Health & Wealth - Dreams to Goals to Flow

Is is my experience that getting into the habit of dreaming, goal setting and being in the flow takes the same amount of energy as any other habit/behavioral change we hope to accomplish. The good news is, everyone, and I do believe everyone, is already better at goal setting than we are aware because goals help us to meet our basic needs. And I do believe, we are just rusty at dreaming and getting in the flow because we tell ourselves dreams and being in the flow are wants and not needs. So we push our wants (and our needs) down because we have made a decision to live our lives in fear and have only our basic needs met.

Let me give you some examples. We wake up in the morning and decide to stay in bed or get to the bathroom. Urgent need and we get there. This is a basic behavior, but a goal none the less. So guess what, 100% of us get there in one way shape or form.

Next goal, do I go back to bed or get started into my day? The more I am aware of my dreams and my desire for being in the flow with health, success and contribution will be a direct correlation to how much energy I put into my goals for the day as I move into my work.

Are we getting the idea. This may seem simplistic but I can guarantee you that the bigger our dreams and the more clear we are on how extraordinary our lives can be the more likely we will be to treat D.G.F. dreams(D)to goals(G)to flow(F)as a process.

Now let's go back to the life wheel. Can you see now how assessing what is important you will help you to engage in this DGF process.




Just for today, let's start with the broad categories on the personal side, outer rim of the wheel:
1. To Live
2. To Learn
3. To Leave a Legacy
4. To Love

The first example would fall into the physical category on the outer wheel. The second could actually fall under all 4, if we really think about it. It depends on our D.G.F.dreams(D)to goals(G)to flow(F)- a process. and this becomes for me a DGF- Darn Great Focus for the day! I'm starting to work on it right now. What about you?

All the best in health and wealth,

Laura