"I Don't Know." Is NOT an Excuse

Businesses, communities, marriages, careers, lives are suffering, deteriorating or being destroyed everyday in so many ways. And, although there are numerous causes of this suffering, deterioration and destruction, I am consistently receiving this response as one major contributors - "I don't know."

We define ourselves by our thoughts, words and actions. What are we conveying to others when we say we don't know?

We need to question and ask why we are saying "I don't know my responsibilities in my career, my community or family." If we agree to a role or a job, we need to be crystal clear about what we have agreed to or signed up for. If we are the CEO, president, owner, employee, spouse, parent or volunteer, it is imperative for us to have the expectations clearly laid out before we agree to the position.

Recently, I caught a segment of a reality television show - I honestly can't tell you the name - but the show was about an expectant mother who was seeking help from an expert about becoming a new parent. The good news was she was asking for help in advance - She was scheduled to deliver the following Monday and her meeting with this expert was taking place on the preceding Friday, not quite 3 full days before she would bring into the world a brand new baby. To follow is the bad news...

The expert started with a basic intake assessment to determine how much help and information this new mother-to-be needed. The nine month pregnant woman was not able to answer one question correctly, nor could she demonstrate on a doll how she could care for a totally dependent infant. When the expert asked her to show changing a baby's diaper, she asked, "I have to do THAT?"

The expert decided to take a different approach and here is how the interview continued.

Expert, "Will you have help?"

Mother-to-be response, "Oh, yes we have hired a nanny."

Expert, "Is she going to live in?"

Mother-to-be response, "On, no, she's only here during the day or when we are away."

The expert turned to the audience and mouthed, "She doesn't have a clue."

The sad part of this entire scenario for me is that this response is so, so typical. People jump into situations and don't have any ideas of their responsibilities or roles and that is just a disaster waiting to happen. We have to stop using "I don't know" as an answer and start coming in prepared with research, education, questions and an interest in learning more.

Let's start taking ownership instead of looking for the easy way out or believe me, we will be learning some really hard lessons.

Have A Happy and Prosperous New Year

12 Gifts to Self in 2011

1. Set the stage health
   
2. Enjoy sunrises and sunsets
3. Go for walks in nature
4. Read a novel (or two)
   
5. Do something extra at work and tell no one about it
   
6. Try something new
7. Spend an hour or a day in silence
   
8. Create a development plan and goals that support growth and development
   
9. Be open to finding my talents
   
10. Be kinder to self
    
11. Hold myself accountable for what I control and let go of all that I don't
    
12. List 12 things that I am grateful for and send it to myself as a thank you note
    

What gifts will you give yourself this year?

There's More to Life and Business Than Ego

A powerful strategist and leader, Napoleon Bonaparte could have been a truly extraordinary leader, instead he used superficial motivation and intimidation to get the job done. Unfortunately, he ultimately failed because he forgot to forge a purpose and his ego got in the way.

3 Signs of Ego

Dangling superficial incentives in front of people.

Napoleon once said, "Men will die for ribbons." As a result, thousands of soldiers marched to their death. Bonaparte was banking on his men to honored with short term recognition. As a result, he won battles at enormous cost and finally lost the war.

Suggestion: Find methods of recognition that are more lasting and meaningful. One suggestion is giving a person a project and allowing them to plan and manage with appropriate supervision (keep in mind, I am not saying lack of supervision). I, for one, thrive in this type of environment.

Any suggestions for incentivizing people?

Using position as entitlement

Known as a small man, Napoleon often tried to intimidate others with his dress, thrown and his title. He was often described as a megalomaniac and as a result had very few true supports. Followers are not the same as supporters, they are often doing a mediocre job because it is easier to stroke someone's ego than to stand up and do the right job in the right manner

Suggestion: Keep in mind that a position of leadership is a privilege. A title does not give a person power, even if they have the authority. A truly great leader will continually earn the respect of their team. One sure way to lose people is to say "I'm the boss and this is the way it has to be."

Any suggestions for how to effectively have authority and power?

Lacking integrity and honor

Napoleon didn't care how he achieved his desired ends. He lied to other heads of state, religious leaders and pretty much one to get what he wanted. He hired criminals and bribed officials to ensure results.

Suggestion: Keep in mind that at the end of the day, all we leave with is our character. I would much rather it be said of me that I am a person of my word, than to have someone say "I can't trust Laura.

Today, healthy business leaders let go of their ego and provide an environment of appropriate acknowledgment and rewards, lead from a positive position and act with honor and integrity. When this happens, employees will always excel and support the company's vision.

Four Pillars of Accountablity

Accountability is an interesting word. A simple definition is the ability to account for one's actions. With some further research I found these five synonyms consistently showing up: responsibility, answerability, trustworthiness, liability.


Responsibility - "a duty that binds to the course of action." Simply stated, we are responsible to demonstrate responsibility by being proactive and fully understanding our purpose, our vision, our mission, our values, our role, our values. To be responsible, we will have done our homework before we dive into relationships, jobs, endeavors and ask what is expected of us when we are not clear.

Answerability - "being called to account." This follows responsibility in that when ask what we are providing or delivering is of the best quality, the best price and the absolute best value. To be answerable, when questioned, that how we are behaving personally and professionally supports what we are telling others we do or charging for in terms of products or services.

Trustworthiness - "a trait of being worthy of trust and confidence." Trust is something that is earned. Our behaviors can build or destroy trust. Honesty and integrity are the linchpins that hold relationships, companies and communities together.

Liability - "being legally bound to a debt or obligation." This is the price we must pay for violating our honor and our word. Repaying a debt with dollars is often a small price to pay, if we can maintain our character and sense of self.

These four pillars create a strong platform for work and life. What pillars would you add to create a firm foundation for accountability?

Quarters, Nickels and Dimes

The little things add up. I needed a few pennies for the exact change and started digging in the bottom of my purse (the catchall for coins ). A elderly woman reached over a handed me one penny to complete the right amount.

Grinning sheepishly, I said I save my change and just cleaned out my purse.

She smiled broadly and said, "I do the same thing. For years I have saved quarters, nickels and dimes. When my husband first left me, I had no skills and a young son. I had to work 3 jobs. My son and I developed a routine. Quarters were saved for Christmas - we always managed to have such a lovely holiday. Nickels were saved for taxes - my one employer never took enough out. I saved dimes for 2 years and raised $2000 for a living room suite,; this covered the furniture and lamps, but no tables.

My young son asked if he could make the coffee table and end tables in shop. He would even cut glass to cover the tops.

I asked him how much he thought it would cost.

$60, he replied.

I handed him the cash (all I had left over the week at the time).

Over the years, I struggled, but the quarters, nickels and dimes helped me through many other tough times. I recently sold a successful business, but still continue to save my change. I still have those tables. Soon I will be giving my son those tables.

What an amazing story. Instead of whining, complaining and seeking a handout. This mother and son found a way to use discipline, planning and resourcefulness to survive and thrive. It all started with quarters, nickels and dimes.

An Invitation...

"Act the way you'd like to be and so you'll be the way you act."

Leonard Cohen

(Canadian poet, songwriter and novelist)

An Invitation

You Are Invited: To life

Please bring:

• Your personal best
• Your talents,
• Your strengths,
• Your values
• Your ideas
• Your positive energy

Date: Open every day

Duration: The rest of your life

What would happen if you received this invitation.

It's up to you to respond.

Day 3 - Look for the Derailers

I once had a great mentor and coach who said to me, “Any CEO that reads the Wall Street Journal should not be surprised when and if their company slips, falls or fails.” John, my mentor, said that ever challenge, situation, strategy, approach can be found well defined and described in the news. It doesn’t matter the size of the business, relationship or community, it’s up to each of us to pay attention, look for the corollaries or trends that are happening in today’s world. Most often, they are happening, or about to happen in our own world, work or life. His preference - The Wall Street Journal.

Here are some common derailers that I have found show up over the course of time.

These are the obvious:

 Lack of vision.
 Knowing the vision and failing to focus.
 Not knowing our attributes, interests, motivators, talents and strengths
 Knowing those talents, strengths and attributes and failing to leverage them

Now let's go deeper:

 Not having a strategic plan
 Having a plan and not following that plan
 Not being clear on our core values
 Knowing those values and not living up to those values
 Not knowing what is critical to the success of our work, our life, our community
 Knowing what is critical to our success and ignoring them
 Not setting goals or actions plans
 Having goals but not taking action
 Not knowing our resources
 Inappropriately using those resources
 Not understanding accountability
 Understanding and choosing not to assume accountability


These derailers are pretty generic and yet I have seen them and others crop up over the course of my life. Expand your sources, I know I have and still do. There are a plethora of opportunities to help us find the derailers to our success.

Look for your derailers and discover what is preventing you from being that extraordinary CEO in your work and life. I'd love to hear more derailers - this is only the short list.

Day 4 - Set Your Strategy

Failing to Lead is Leading to Failure - Lead to Succeed

If I know one thing about leadership, there is one huge flaw that impacts relationships, work, success and pretty much all of life and this is - Failing to lead will lead to failure!

I see it all too often! At home, a partner consistently fails to tell their spouse what they want and need. The spouse consistently fails to follow through and guess what - the relationship falls apart.

With friends and family, a person is involved in a new, big project. Not wanting to let the friend that time together might need to change, the individual continues to extend themselves and struggles, strains and then fails - either in the friendship, the project or both.

With employees, the boss is new and wants to make a great impression and be liked. Instead of clearly stating vision, wants, needs and expectations - the boss works on becoming a friend and being liked. The first quarter rolls by, goals not met - second quarter, goals not met - third quarter. The employee is failing and needs to be replaced.

Do any of these situations sound familiar? I hear about them, I read about them, I work with them - every single day.

Learning to lead self and others has become one of my greatest passions. If I can lead myself, I know I will have healthier personal and professional relationships and success in life. If I can lead others, than I am fulfilling my vision for myself to help others live fully actualized, wonderfully exhilarating and fulfilled lives.

It's about time we lead ourselves and others. Here's some simple tips:

Tip 1 - Clearly communicate your personal and professional vision personal and professional teams.

Tip 2 - Create clearly defined goals and results and communicate them to your personal and professional teams.

Tip 3 - Clearly communicate your wants, needs and expectations to your personal and professional teams.

Tip 4 - Ask for honest feedback about how clear your personal and professional teams are about the above. (a little word to the wise - our communication may not be as effective as we would like it to be)

Tip 5 - Be accountable. Own the blame and your role in the relationship and not fix blame on others.

Tip 6 - Lead others to success with you or help them leave the situation, role or relationship.

Leading is a learned talent. Whether you have natural talent or not, this particular attribute with make or break you in life.

Rather than Failing to Lead - Lead to Succeed!

Promote Health & Wealth - Dreams to Goals to Flow

Is is my experience that getting into the habit of dreaming, goal setting and being in the flow takes the same amount of energy as any other habit/behavioral change we hope to accomplish. The good news is, everyone, and I do believe everyone, is already better at goal setting than we are aware because goals help us to meet our basic needs. And I do believe, we are just rusty at dreaming and getting in the flow because we tell ourselves dreams and being in the flow are wants and not needs. So we push our wants (and our needs) down because we have made a decision to live our lives in fear and have only our basic needs met.

Let me give you some examples. We wake up in the morning and decide to stay in bed or get to the bathroom. Urgent need and we get there. This is a basic behavior, but a goal none the less. So guess what, 100% of us get there in one way shape or form.

Next goal, do I go back to bed or get started into my day? The more I am aware of my dreams and my desire for being in the flow with health, success and contribution will be a direct correlation to how much energy I put into my goals for the day as I move into my work.

Are we getting the idea. This may seem simplistic but I can guarantee you that the bigger our dreams and the more clear we are on how extraordinary our lives can be the more likely we will be to treat D.G.F. dreams(D)to goals(G)to flow(F)as a process.

Now let's go back to the life wheel. Can you see now how assessing what is important you will help you to engage in this DGF process.




Just for today, let's start with the broad categories on the personal side, outer rim of the wheel:
1. To Live
2. To Learn
3. To Leave a Legacy
4. To Love

The first example would fall into the physical category on the outer wheel. The second could actually fall under all 4, if we really think about it. It depends on our D.G.F.dreams(D)to goals(G)to flow(F)- a process. and this becomes for me a DGF- Darn Great Focus for the day! I'm starting to work on it right now. What about you?

All the best in health and wealth,

Laura

Promoting Health and Wealth - Problems and Questions

In reflection, I realize that one of the biggest reasons that I started this journey is because I wanted to work on my personal accountability. In the past, I have worked very hard on helping others increase their personal accountability and achieve success. Then it dawned on me, if I develop my own personal accountability, I would definitely improve my health and wealth.

Our bodies are wonderfully designed - our body is a reflection of all that we put out in the world, even if what we put out is only a thought. For example, I am fortunately a really healthy person, rarely get sick. For most of my life, however, whenever I would move into a mode of working excessive hours, pushing, pushing, controlling projects or events, I would end up with a terrible cold and then acute bronchitis. As I dug deeper into the cause of this problem, I became aware that my body was telling me to slow down, enjoy the ride and pay attention to the beauty of the experience rather than just plowing through. My body gave me the message loud and clear.

You're working too hard!
This job or project is not for you!
It's time to take a break!

I still didn't totally get the message for other aspects of my life that might be holding me back.. I wasn't really consciously making the best decisions but at least when a cold cropped up, I knew it was time to stop and ask what I needed to change or do differently.

One great resource for helping me in this process to improve personal accountability to help I me to enhance my strength in the questioning arena is great book by John G. Miller, called QBQ - The Question Behind the Question. In my opinion, this is one of the best books in the market today on personal accountability.

This book can be read in about an hour and can help one master the art of questioning. I don't want to give away the essence of the book, it is well worth the investment in time and money.

What about you, any suggestions on how to enhance this questioning, discovery process to help promote extraordinary health and wealth.

All the best in health and wealth,

Laura