How We Use Our Energy is Our Choice

"He is a wise man who wastes no energy on pursuits for which he is not fitted; and he is wiser still who, from among the things he can do well, chooses and resolutely follows the best."

William Gladstone

Knowing what affects our energy is huge. We choose to enter the moment, the situation or the day like the Tasmanian devil or with grace and quiet strength. Gaining insight into what causes stress actually takes patience but less energy than the high energy investment with the constant rescue mode. In the past, I would attempt to help others by giving them all my energy. All this resulted in was my energy drained and actually causing more them distress at times. Then, a dear friend shared with me this thought, “it is the height of arrogance for a person to take on other’s burden,” rather than allowing them to work through it on their own.

As I continue to grow I am much more conscious of my energy. This has had a profound impact on relationships and results personally and professionally. A conversation comes to mind when I first wanted to test my theory and pay attention to my energy. I struck up a conversation with a woman at a party. She started to tell me how tired and drained she was. Her sister had recently lost her husband and she was trying to lessen her sister's pain. I shared with her my friend's comment. We continued to discuss how we may have a tendency to want to "cure" the other person's pain by trying to take on their "burden." The cost is enormous. We discussed alternatives such as listening and allowing them space for their own thoughts and feelings.

Although I have never never talk with this woman again, I am grateful that we had the opportunity to discuss how we could make different choices that would give us - and others - more healthy, positive energy. I left the party feeling really energized, not drained from the conversation. Quite a powerful concept when we choose to use our energy differently.