How Clear Are You on What You Really, Really Want?

One would think that when a person is asked what they really, really want in work, in life, in a relationship, that the response would be immediate. Surprisingly, or perhaps, not so surprising, the responses are: silence... or "Let me think for a minute," or more sadly, "I really don't take time to think about what I really want, I'm too busy doing."

Silence or "Let me think for a minute"...

These two are interesting responses. They to me indicate that the person is stopped short for several reasons.

1. Genuinely, I need time to give a thoughtful response because it is important to me
2. Actually, I am afraid to express what I really want
   
3. I need to think about a response that will sound interesting and important enough to share and impress you
   
4. I don't trust you and so I'm not willing to share

This third response, "I really don't take time to think about what I really want, I'm too busy doing," indicates several things to me.

1. I'm not worthy of investing thinking time in myself to fully appreciate what I really want
2. I'm not used to stopping all the crazy busyness to think
   
3. I'm clueless to how important understanding what I really want is to me and to anyone involved with me
   

Whatever the reasons or stories we have for not clarifying what we really want, it has become profoundly clearly to me, that this is one of our greatest limiting factors in success in business and joy in life. The more I am clear about what I want, the more likely I am to attract that want (positive or negative into my life).

And so, I am leaving you with this question, "What do you really, really want out of ...?"

Or in the words of Henry David Thoreau....will you "live your life in quiet desperation."

Capture the Loveliness

A few days ago, the east coast of the United States was beyond dreary and gray. For what seemed like endless hours, the landscape was battered by rain, sleet and snow. Life couldn't have looked or felt more ugly. The next morning traveling was difficult, if not impossible. Meetings canceled, I was faced with the drudgery of playing cleanup in the office.

Fortunately, I received a call and an excited voice on the other end asked, "Are you looking outside? It's glorious. The sun and ice on the trees looks like thousands of diamonds." I could almost see her smile and I definitely felt the joy in her voice. My eyes moved to the window. She was so right - there were diamonds everywhere.

A simple call, a wonderful gesture caused me to stop being upset and negative about having to change my plans for the day. My energy lifted and I found myself cleaning up, clearing up and revamping some of my business plans. The call also brought to mind the poem by Sara Teasdale called Barter.

Life has loveliness to sell,
All beautiful and splendid things;
Blue waves whitened on a cliff,
Soaring fire that sways and sings,
And children’s faces looking up,
Holding wonder like a cup.

Life has loveliness to sell;
Music like a curve of gold,
Scent of pine trees in the rain,
Eyes that love you, arms that hold,
And, for the Spirit’s still delight,
Holy thoughts that star the night.

Give all you have for loveliness;
Buy it, and never count the cost!
For one white, singing hour of peace
Count many a year of strife well lost;
And for a breath of ecstasy,
Give all you have been, or could be.

The call, the poem and taking time to reflect has caused me to re-focus and re-charge my thinking, my attitude and my actions. Wonderful, positive gifts from others and myself to see thousands of diamonds and capture the loveliness of work and life.

The Mind is the Master Weaver

"They themselves are makers of themselves"

...by virtue of the thoughts which they choose and encourage; that mind is the master weaver, both of the inner garment of character and the outer garment of circumstance, and that, as they may have hitherto woven in ignorance and pain they may now weave in enlightenment and happiness.

James Allen

(As a Man Thinketh)

Our abilities, our intellect, our education are not what is holding us back from success in work and life. What is holding us back is our thoughts. Conversely, our thoughts are what lead us to greater degrees of success and achievement. All actions are directed by what we are thinking at the time and even though we may make a conscious decision to take action, something holds us back - the subconscious. Our subconscious mind helps or hinders us in getting the job we want, the income we desire, the relationships we seek.

A great deal of time is often spend on evaluating what has happened in the past. As we review and reflect our past accomplishments, it become essential to understand simultaneously, that we have undermined or enhanced our own outcomes. If we have not identified those limiting subconscious thoughts, our ability to take positive action to achieve our goals is greatly decreased. For example, an important objective is looming that we are responsible for, but there are repeated interruptions by others requests for help and assistance. These interruptions cause us to become distracted missing targets and responsibilities to others and ourselves. What set us up for failure? Our thoughts. We thought others had a greater need - our work isn't as important. In reality, we haven't thought about creating healthy relationships and limits that support collaborative success.

Our relationship with ourselves is another one that requires serious attention. Another example, I woke up this morning before 5AM and thought instantly, about writing. The bed was nice and warm, I was really comfortable. My second thought,writing can wait. I closed my eyes, snuggled under the covers and my thoughts returned to writing. I realized that I had a great idea - noticing how my thoughts affected my success or derailed me. With a sigh (not a really big one), I got out of bed and started to write. One goal for the day accomplished just as the sun was rising.

A great way to start the day. When we learn to think that our contributions and performance are important, we will stop being derailed and start achieving greater degrees of success. Notice the next time you are off or on track to success. Actively asking, "What am I thinking about right now?" when struggling to get something accomplished becomes a powerful habit for increasing the ability to refocus on what is important.

As James Allen wrote, "The Mind is the Master Weaver." Actively think about what you want to weave today.

Health Value-Positive Thinking

Book Review

Dr. Joseph Murphy, author of the classic book The Power of the Subconscious Mind, has written a "Maximize Your Potential" series of books. The one I will be referring to is "Maximize Your Potential Through The Power of Your Subconscious Mind For Health and Vitality". In this book, his prescription for healthy aging lies within ourselves through positive thought.

You aren't old until you lose your curiosity and you heart becomes weary and unresponsive. As long as you're involved in life in many ways, you can't grow old in spirit. You only become feeble (no matter how many birthdays you've had), when you've lost touch with the youth, ideals, and spirit of your times...when you've ceased to grow and learn".

Do you know people who "think" themselves old? Just because you are of a certain age, does that mean you have to act and think of a certain age? Our negative thoughts sink into our subconscious mind, manifest problems in our body, and shorten life. If we have a poor mental attitude, then we impose our own self limitations.

As a minister, Dr. Murphy's book is both spiritual and inspirational. He focuses on aging, however the suggestions in this book are for any age. His principles for vibrant health lie in our thought process, ideas, beliefs, and mental attitude. Of course we all have to take responsibility for our body-eating well and exercising; but isn't that also part of our mental attitude?

Dr. Murphy's ideas are practical, trustworthy, and timeless. The central mind-body theme "is that new thoughts, ideas, attitudes and beliefs create new conditions".

Judy Rienzi